The Binky Fairy
You can’t really say to your kid, “Hey kid! If you suck on that pacifier much longer you are gonna have horse teeth! So it’s time to chuck it!” I guess technically you can, but wow, what a horrible human.
We could have told Alistair in a nice way that it’s time to put the binky away, but where’s the transition in that?
Whenever a parent is looking for a way to transition a child without bearing the responsibility of the torturous emotional dagger to the heart, it’s a great idea to create a mythical creature to take the blame. In this case….the Binky Fairy.
If you are interested in getting your kid to relinquish the binky, it’s just a simple recipe: 1 part good story, 1 part creature to blame, and 1 part bribery.
You begin by creating the story. The good thing about the Binky Fairy is that the story is pretty much a clean slate. It’s not like Santa Clause where you kind of have to stick to the standard story. In our case, the Binky Fairy needed to come and reclaim Alistair’s binkies, from an envelope in the mailbox. Because unlike Santa, the Binky Fairy utilizes the same delivery method as the Post Office. Once in her posession, the Binky Fairy cleans and disinfects the binkies and gives them to young babies who are just starting out in the world and need a binky of their own. Lucky for us Alistair has no concept of how merchandise works because then he’d be able to nail us with the ol’ “Why can’t those kids just get a new one from the grocery store?” You would have thought that Noble, being 5, would have piped up with that question, but we destroyed his ability to logic by introducing the bribe portion – that the binky fairy leaves a TREEEEAAATT when she takes the binky. Instant blinders!
Alistair didn’t really ask any questions about the Binky Fairy. He was too busy re-enacting the scene in Sophie’s Choice when Meryl Streep loses it because she has to give one of her children over to the Nazis. Sure, you might say, “Hey Russ, that’s way too extreme! Giving up a child is nothing like giving up a binky. How dare you!” Yeah, well, you aren’t 2. And if you are 2, HOLY CRAP YOU ARE SMART! That is such a well said sentence! And how did you navigate the internet to get to this site? Very impressive! But if you aren’t 2, you can’t prove that there’s an emotional difference, so I win. Yes. Yes I do win….then why am I holding the trophy for winning? The fact that I made my own trophy for winning is irrelevant. You are more than welcome to make the trophy and then give it to me…..but then I’d have two trophies, so…. Let’s get back to the Binky Fairy. Agree to disagree………I’m right.
It was a sad night for Alistair. We felt really bad for him, and, at the same time, couldn’t help thinking just how damn cute he is. I wonder what age it is when a toddler’s emotional pain stops being partly cute? If Noble was crying about something, I would never think there was something cute about it. But Alistair, choking up about the loss of his binky….really stinkin’ cute. We got him to place the envelope of binkies into the mailbox. And after a bit of highly dramatic emoting, he finally went to bed – binky free!
I wouldn’t feel too bad for the kid. The Binky Fairy left a lollipop in the mailbox for Alistair and one for Noble because “he was such a good helper.” Besides, he’ll be completely over it in a couple days anyway. Ohhhhhhh, OK! I get the Sophie’s Choice difference now! It takes more than 3 days to get over having to give over a child to the Nazis. Ok. My bad. You got me there. So maybe we split the trophies? Please? I really like the one I made.