What Does Christmas Mean to a One Year Old?
(Alistair) Wow! There’s a large tree in my house! Let me just inspect this thing! HOW FUN! There are so many neat things dangling from this tree! Let me just rip them off, one by one, and see which ones are breakable, and which ones I can eat. The rest I will just throw somewhere. Where will I throw them? It doesn’t matter, on the floor, I don’t care. So far I’ve destroyed five ornaments. It’s so easy, they are so delicate. I barely smash them on the table and they shatter. Who makes these things – Chincy McFragilecrap?
I really enjoy these blinking lights! Wonder what happens if I bite them? Wow, I wish my dad would stop being a jerk about it. Lay off dude.
I guess if I can’t bite them, I can at least tug on them and follow them to their source. Looks like they go behind the desk and into the wall! Cool! Let me just see if I can get back there and pull or bite on it. Damn! What is my dad’s problem! Everytime I get close to something fun, he yanks me away. Buzz kill, man. Lighten up!
This Christmas season is great! I’m so glad I can walk around and get into all kinds of trouble. I like keeping my dad on his toes. He better sweep up those pine needles or I’m gonna stuff them in my mouth! Too late! Oh my god this tastes like crap.
Oh cool, I think I can reach that choking hazard, I mean ornament. Funny, I know the word ornament, I just can’t say it. Thank god I know how to type.
Christmas rules! I can’t wait for there to be wrapped gifts under the tree. Let’s see mom and dad stop me from ripping them to shreds! You have to turn away at some point! And when you do…actually, what do I care. Watch! Oh look, dads cell phone! I’m gonna smash it to bits. HEY GIVE THAT BACK! MINE! HANDS OFF ME! LET ME GO! PUT ME DOWN! WWAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Oh look, another ornament…