Sep 27

Coupons

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Here’s why I can’t do coupons:

First of all, if you can give me the savings, I think you should just do it. Dont’ be greedy. Making me scour a magazine or newspaper for some piece of paper that I have to cut out and bring to the store sucks. Don’t send me on a damn scavenger hunt for ways to get a reduced price on your product. Just reduce the fricken price for everyone!  If you are willing to reduce it, then reduce it!  Enough with the paper games!

This is all to save $.35 on this, or maybe $1.00 on that.  Yes, I get it, it adds up.  I could save up to $30 on a single trip, maybe.

I think I value my time way too much.  You tell me: as the at home worker, I would charge an imaginary $100 per hour for my services.  No no no, wait. What am I talking about, I’m worth more than that!  I take care of children!  I think $110 is more like it!  I take care of a difficult staff; I do the janitorial work; I manage finances; I do more janitorial work; I chauffer; I bathe a difficult staff; I deal with pee and poop DAILY!  I’m not cheap labor!  So what I opt to do with my time becomes pretty valuable to me.  And there are two things that I just can’t get myself to do.  The first is sitting around clipping coupons.  And the other is standing in front of the toilet paper aisle with a calculator and an algebra textbook trying to create a formula for “best deal” by comparing rolls per package with thickness of the roll and ply.

Incidentally, getting marshmallow goo on my fingers gives me the same face I make when I think about comparison shopping groceries.

I’m a grab and go kind of fella.  If I end up spending $30 more per trip, then so be it.  But in the end, I saved over $200 in personal time.

Gayle, if you are reading this, I hope you get that this is just comedy.  I TOTALLY care about our budget, and staying “on track”.  And I work diligently at the grocery store to make sure that I’m making the frugalestess decisions possible.  Seriously.  For totally realsies.

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