Here is one of my biggest frustrations as a parent. I’m so sick and tired of putting together a fantastically mediocre meal for Noble, only to have him tell me he hates it BEFORE HE HAS ONE BITE! And then, once he’s sitting down to his plate, we move on to the endless negotiating.
“How bout one more bite of fish, and two more bites of rice…then ice cream”
“How bout you EAT YOUR FOOD!”
“NO! How bout two more bites of fish, and no bites of rice….then gum??”
“How about you eat your food now and you spare me having to go off on you!”
“Ok, ok, how about THREEEE bites….”
“SHUT IT! EAT IT AND SHUT IT!”
This goes on for the entire meal! I start the meal out happy, with perfect blood pressure. And by the time the meal is over, I am browsing the internet for anger management therapists in the Blue Shield network. It’s FOOD for gosh darn it! They need it to survive! You’d think it would be implanted in their DNA to EAT THEIR GODDAMN DINNER! But no. Well, unless it’s Mac and Cheese with Cocoa Puffs and a juice box, then I’m positive dinner would go over quite smoothly.
On the funnier, less stressful, side of the food world, I did get to watch Noble pretend to enjoy a V8 for about 8 sips. Oh, the novelty of drinking a drink out of a can! It’s a beer or a soda like daddy drinks! So you can imagine my pure joy when he jumped up and down for this can of V8! He found a bunch of them in the fridge at the lake cabin we stayed at. Noble came running, asking if he could have one. ABSOLUTELY! Drink it all though, dude! He really did give it a go. It was very funny to watch him say one thing while his body language said the opposite. He couldn’t keep the charade up after his 8th drink. The only down side was that I had to finish it for him. No charade on my end, my sentiments AND my face read the same message: BARF!