My son is a game tyrant. Every little aspect of our playtime fun is dictated by him. If I alter anything, I get yelled at.
It’s one thing to allow your child the freedom to express himself and to create fun rules for games. It’s quite another thing to allow your little game tyrant to walk all over you during playtime.
“Dad, dad, dad, will you play with me?”
“Ok, you be Spiderman, and I’ll be Iron Man. Spiderman comes over to Iron Man and says, ‘I’m gonna jail you’, and then Iron Man goes SMASH and then Spiderman flies across the room and then comes back and says, ‘nobody smashes me like that today!’ and then Iron Man blasts him again. Let’s play that one”
“ummm, ok, so I’m Spiderman?”
Getting annoyed – “That’s what I told you, dad”
Grabbing Spiderman, and opting to put a West Hollywood “flair”, I proclaim, “I’m gonna jail you Iron Man! You are in soooo much trouble it’s ridiculous!”
Noble throws his hands down frustrated, “No, dad, that’s not how he sounds!”
“Well, to be honest, I’m playing Spiderman, and I can make whatever performance choice I want to. If I want to play Spiderman as Nathan Lane from Birdcage, then that’s my choice. And frankly, I’d rather just play and see what happens, instead of being a robot for your little game time!”
“NO, that’s not how it goes!”
And at this point a toy gets thrown. No, not by me.
Seriously, though, it gets really old being forced to act out the same damn scenario over and over again. Especially if you don’t get the lines exactly right. I’ve worked with difficult directors who have still had more leeway with the lines than Noble. He’s like one of those guys in your summer drama camp that had opinions about how everyone should say their lines. You know that person, right? The know-it-all in your drama camp? Oh, you’ve never been to drama camp? For nerds? Oh yea! Exactly, me neither. I would never camp at one of those camps. Dweeb city, man. I was just talking about somebody else, if they, you know, went to one of those, but not me. No way.
So where was I? Umm, oh yeah, so Spiderman can’t be gay in our house. Totally lame.