Nov 9

Get It Your Damn Self!

by

Hey Venom/Woody, don't forget to say "Thank You"!

Noble doesn’t know how good he has it.  But I don’t think it’s my job to remind him of that.  There are certainly times, like when I bring him a large plate of snacks, filled with a variety of food choices and he angrily waves it all away, whining, “I don’t want any of that disgusting stuff! I want a treat!” I would love to explain to him about the children across the world who aren’t fortunate enough to get food, let alone large snacks, but I think 4 years old is a little young to start applying the pains of the world into his decision making. So I’m fine with answering, “Well that’s what I made you!  SO EAT IT!”

Also grating on my nerves is when he asks for milk and I agree to get it for him. Why does that grate on my nerves?  It’s not the asking part, it’s that once the request is made, there is only a 2 minute window of opportunity to appease the mighty Lord of Sitting On the Couch and Bossing Me Around. If I miss that window, he will adjust his volume to reach me in whatever room in the house I’m in and he will bark, “Where’s my milk?!”

“I’ll get it when I FUCKING GET IT! SO SHUT THE HELL UP ABOUT IT!”

I don’t curse in our house.  The above is what I say in my head.  And then I say, “That’s not how you talk to me.  Try again, dude!”

I’ll at least get a “please” mixed into his aggro attitude.

However necessary, I think that teaching our kids proper manners is a pain in the ass.  Even on Halloween, I spent way too much time making sure he said “thank you” after every door we went to.  I guess my job is to just keep at it, and hopefully, once he’s older, some of it will stick.  If that seems to be failing, then I’m bound and determined to teach him how to do everything on his own.  And then my new parental response will be, “Get it your damn self!”

And when he replies, “But I can’t reach!”, then I’ll say, “Figure it out!” And I will go back to sitting on the couch, having reclaimed the throne that was rightfully mine all along!

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