Sep 25

Potty Training Readiness

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I’m ready man! Is this how you do it?

Depending on your method of potty training, there are different signs that your child is ready to be potty trained.  For people who use the EC (Elimination Communication) method, those kiddos are ready as soon as they spring forth into the world.  For others, they simply wait until their kids are in high school and it’s considered faux pas to poop in your underwear.  We found ourselves in the middle.  And when I say middle, I mean more around age 2.  We definitely waited for specific readiness signs such as running off to a poopin spot, being able to follow our directions (as good as a two year old can), staying dry for longer periods of time, and  being able to pull down his pants (required skill for independent peeing, wouldn’t you think).  Pulling pants back up was not a prerequisite, as most two year olds who attempt this somehow end up pulling their underwear over their pants with both legs in one of the holes.

There are different rules of thought for readiness, and there is no shortage of opinions about those signs.  So, without further ado, here are the signs according to BabyCenter and my personal opinions about them:

Physical signs

Is coordinated enough to walk, and even run, steadily.

Steadily is an interesting word.  Most children at age 2 (when we potty trained) do not run steadily.  They run like they are drunk and trying really hard to not look it.

Urinates a fair amount at one time.

Tough to tell, especially when your kid wears disposables and you just check in with them once you see the large saggy, swaying load as they walk around.

Has regular, well-formed bowel movements at relatively predictable times.

Sure.  Makes sense.

Has “dry” periods of at least two hours or during naps, which shows that his bladder muscles are developed enough to hold urine.

Two hours awake seems good.  We didn’t wait for dry during naps, though.  We can only control what goes on while our child is conscious.  We have to let nature potty train the sleeping child.

Behavioral signs

Can sit down quietly in one position for two to five minutes.

What?! Is there a two year old on this planet that can sit quietly for 2-5 minutes?  Your job, as the parent, is to be a manipulative entertainer, doing everything from singing to juggling plates on a stick in order to keep them on the toilet.  Seriously, if you wait for them to be able to sit quietly for that long, you will start potty training in the college years.

Can pull his pants up and down.

With help, sure.  On their own…different story. Down is easy.  Up is next to impossible.  Unless you do rigorous clothing training first.

Dislikes the feeling of wearing a wet or dirty diaper.

In the land of the disposable diaper, this is tricky.  Kids can have 2 poops and 3 pees in a diaper before even noticing that they need a diaper change.  Unless you use cloth diapers, this probably doesn’t apply.

Shows interest in others’ bathroom habits (wants to watch you go to the bathroom or wear underwear).

Sure.  Yep.  Makes sense.

Gives a physical or verbal sign when he’s having a bowel movement such as grunting, squatting, or telling you.

Or they stop what they are doing with a look of surprise on their face.  Then run and find a place to bear down.  Usually leaning up against a wall or something.  How about the pee pee dance?

Demonstrates a desire for independence.

Yes, when they bring you the emancipation forms and politely ask you to sign them, then you know they are ready to learn how to poop in a toilet.

Takes pride in his accomplishments.

Is this really something you wait for before potty training?  Are kids naturally uninterested in their accomplishments?  And then one day, when their bladders and bowels have developed enough, do they start gaining happiness for achieving things? “I’m so happy that I can draw the letter A!” GET THAT KID ON A TOILET!  WOO-HOO!

Isn’t resistant to learning to use the toilet.

You could be waiting a LONG time….it is a giant porcelain monster that devours your poop and pee in a loud flushing sound.  And you want them to SIT ON IT?!…with the potentiality of getting sucked into the hole and blown into the den of the sewer monsters?!  You want that, instead of going into the loving, absorbant, safety of a diaper?  PASS!!!

Is in a generally cooperative stage.

We ARE talking about a 2 year old, right?  Generally contrary would seem more fitting.

Cognitive signs

Understands the physical signals that mean he has to go and can tell you before it happens or even hold it until he has time to get to the potty.

Yes, they understand it.  If you’ve ever seen a toddler “understanding” the physicality of having to go, it is more an understanding that something very shocking is occurring and they usually will attempt to run in place to, I don’t quite know, escape(?) the feeling.  Then, when they can run no longer, they give up and….poop is made!

Can follow simple instructions, such as “go get the toy.”

Or “Sit on the toilet” or “It’s not an evil creature” or “I’ll give you an M&M if you poop in that potty!”

Understands the value of putting things where they belong.

Do two year olds put ANTYHING away?  Let alone understand the VALUE of it?  My understanding of 2 year olds is that when they are done with something, they throw it with complete disregard behind them in an over-the-shoulder fashion.

Has words for urine and stool.

Not really an indicator of whether or not they are ready to be trained, but it doesn’t hurt to know what you are talking about.  What words did you guys use?  We used Poop and Pee.  Did you get creative?  Did you say things like Tink Tink and Captain Stinkums McDoody?

I feel that you should wait until YOU, the parent, feel like you can get the point of potty training across.  You should wait until there is a long enough window from when they show that they are pooping, to when they actually make the poop.  That is your window of opportunity to get them to the toilet and then encourage the heck out of them.

Start talking about the potty early.  Keep it casual, break it down for them, this will make the readiness appear sooner.  And will make the learning process easier.  As the wise people say, “Repetition is the mother of….”um, I’m not sure.  Is repetition a mother?  Or father?  Well, whatever it is, it’s good.

When this is happening, you know they’re ready.

When this is happening…not so ready.

What are YOUR thoughts on readiness?  Do you believe in readiness signs?  Let me know!  Prove me wrong!  Prove me right!  I’m interested!

 

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Comments

  • Laura

    Dude, the whole “signs” thing is total BS. It just gives the excuse to prolong it!!

  • http://www.thestayathomer.com Russ Jones

    Not sure I’m following you. If we didn’t wait for our boys to show signs, they would be crapping their pants all the way through potty training. That, to me, isn’t potty training. It’s cleaning up a bunch of dirty underwear.

  • karaleen

    I am a non-potty trainer. I use cloth diapers and don’t have any disposable diaper cost ore waste guilt looming overmy head to try an eliminate so I ususally just let the child lead me. I’m here more to be the helper than the trainer. I was a nanny for several years for babies and toddlers. Any time a parent decided it was time to potty train before the child pretty much started on his or her own…it took FOREVER (basically until said child was ready). I just wait it out. Most girls will do it by 2 1/2 and most boys by 3ish…. For our son…we were pregnant at his 2nd birthday and he showed NO signs and then had a baby when he was 2 1/2 and still showing NO signs…so we just waited. We had conversations, we made sure he knew he could try if he wanted…but he just wasn’t interested. So we just waited on him. And sure enough…just a month after his 3rd birthday…he was in the tub and looked at us and said he had to go potty…so we pulled him out…stood him in front of the toilet and he went. For about two weeks after that he would ask to go a couple times a day and we were very accomodating. Once we knew he was serious…we got him some underwear and we were done. There was no training involved…we just allowed his body to do what it was growing into. Our daughter is approaching 2 and is very interested in the potty so we sit her on it when she asks…but nothing comes out. Once again…we are just waiting on her and when she is ready, we will be her helpers.
    But you are right….it is all about the child’s readiness…..sadly some parents are ready before the child is and that just creates an adversarial relationship in my opinion. I’m impressed your boys were ready at 2….that is pretty good.
    kd

  • http://www.thestayathomer.com Russ Jones

    Thanks Karaleen! This is really great to hear! I would wager that the reason that ours were ready and done earlier is because we didn’t wait for them to be interested in the potty…we waited for physical signs of readiness, and mental signs of readiness. So we encouraged the potty, sometimes with a power struggle (which I don’t think is a bad thing….2 year olds power struggle EVERYTHING…looking at my 2 year old wrong creates a power struggle!)
    Thanks for taking the time to comment and share your process! As a nanny, you’ve done this plenty, so you must know what you are talking about! Do you find there’s a difference in compliance, or willingness when you are going through the process with someone else’s kids, as opposed to your own? I’d be really interested in your experience with that!
    Thanks again for the comment!!

    ~Russ

  • karaleen

    Russ…yes…definitely different with children not my own. As a nanny, your relationship is soooo different. The kids behave for you differently than for mom/dad because it is a different relationship. If the parents really really wanted to potty TRAIN…it was my job to follow that…but I think the kids sensed that I was not emotionally dependent on the potty training. I think some parents saw it as a feather in their cap to PT early…a good talking point at playgroup. I just didnt’ care and that came through in the relationship between me and the kids. I would bring it up and we would go to the potty and try, but there was never any angst from me if they weren’t getting it. We just high fived for a good try and moved on. With the gung-ho parents….there was so much pressure on the child to perform and when he/she didn’t…I think there was disapointment on both sides. Being the nanny, I was able to remove that from the equation. With my own kids…I still pretty much take the same approach…but the relationship is different….there is a natural power struggle among parent/child when the child starts becoming more independent. And…lucky for all of us (said with much sarcasm)….it seems potty control tends to happen just when those independent power struggles are also happening. So…I just bow to the child on this one. There are other battles I would rather fight (like not hitting your sister, using manners and learning a bit of impulse control at playgroup). And…in all honesty…potty transition sucks…it is so labor intensive and requires soooo many trips to the bathroom and the doing up of the pants …blah blah blah….I just prefer to let that happen at a slower pace and then BAM…kid is done and ready. It just seems to work for us. We were in Target for under an hour on Sunday and my 4yo went to the bathroom THREE TIMES!!!! I imagined multiplying that by 2 and it was not appealing to me….diapers are still okay for my 22 month old. I’m in no hurry. BUT…just as I say this…her interest and requests to go potty have only increased over the past couple weeks and she is seeing success and has had both pees and poos on the potty now. She still isn’t ready for underwear….but she will definitely be out of diapers long before her brother. Like I said…we are just here to help her along on the pace she chooses.