Dec 13

The Same Question

I could go insane. It’s quite possible that the very act of asking me the same question, repeatedly, without care or concern for the validity of the answer, has the ability to send me over the edge.  I try not to rage out when Noble asks me “When is Will coming over” for the nine hundredth time.  But that is difficult, if not impossible.  There’s usually a snapping point.  It happens after I’ve exhausted the literal answers, the smart ass answers, and the ‘I don’t care anymore’ answers.  Let me see if I can break it down for you.  I’d love to give you a glimpse into my headspace….don’t let the roominess fool you…there’s a lot going on in there!

Noble will be represented in bold, my answers will be in italics. Let’s say that Will is coming over for a playdate at 4pm. Here’s the conversation, starting at 2:45pm when I would pick Noble up at school.

When is Will getting here?

His mom said he’d be here around 4 o’clock.

When is Will getting here?

4 o’clock.

When is Will getting here?

I told you 4 o’clock.

When is Will getting here?

You know the answer.  I just told you.

When is Will getting here?

FOUR. OH. CLOCK.

When is Will getting here?

A long time from now.  A very long time from now, so you can stop asking me.

When is Will getting here?

Really?!

When is Will getting here?

I don’t know.

When is Will getting here?

I forget.

When is Will getting here?

Who is Will?

When is Will getting here?

As soon as you stop asking me, he’ll magically appear.

When is Will getting here?

Never.  You destroyed the magic.

When is Will getting here?

Ohhhh, I don’t know….maybe FOUR O’CLOCK!

When is Will getting here?

Please!  I’m begging you!  No more!  I can’t handle it!

When is Will getting here?

Seventy-five 

When is Will getting here?

In a million seven thirty seven a hundred fifty two seven minutes.

When is Will getting here?

Next year.

When is Will getting here?

I’m about to get in the car and go get him…. No, not really.

When is Will getting here?

Soon! But not soon enough!  But soon!  But stop asking me!

When is Will getting here?

Guess!

When is Will getting here?

Oh look out the window!  There he ISN’T!

When is Will gonna be here?

If God heard my prayer, he will manifest right in front of us in 3…..2…..1…..

God didn’t hear you.

You think?

When is Will getting here?

……

When is Will getting here?

……

When is Will getting here?

Now. He’s supposed to be here now.

Why isn’t Will here?

I don’t know.

Where is Will?

Leave me alone.

Where is Will?

Pickles!

What?

Huh?

You said pickles.

Yeah, that’s because I’m insane now.  So thanks for that.

You’re welcome?

Yes.  Yes I am welcome.

When’s Will gonna be here?

I give up.  You win.  I quit.

When is Will gonna be here?

AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

I think he might be TRYING to drive me crazy with his questions....his face gives away his evil plans!

I believe there is a point where the brain automatically shuts down, in order to protect itself from the carnage of a single, perpetual question.  It is the reason you will see parents ignoring their screaming children at the supermarket.  Because they’ve already reached the point of shut down, and they are just trying to survive the store.  If they engage their children, their heads might pop like overfilled water balloons.  And that’s a clean up that no grocery store clerk needs.

I know this has happened to you.  How have you handled the repeated question?  Do you have a line that works every time?

 

 

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