Read The Signs
There are signs for stopping. There are signs for going. There are signs for pushing and pulling; for open and closed. We like to have things spelled out for us because we’d be so lost otherwise. For example, if upon approach to a door you attempt to pull it open and it does not open, then chances are you could spend a good long afternoon standing at the door until someone comes along and pushes it open for you. Some of us are pullers, and some are pushers. And without a sign designating which one to do, we would be a lost society just standing in front of doors, hopelessly waiting. Honestly, I have not heard of any person who would pull a door, and then if that didn’t work try PUSHING it open. It’s a ridiculous notion. It requires way too much problem solving and common sense! We NEED that signage.
Take this sign, for instance. Clearly if I was walking my wheelchair-bound friend down this beautiful path, I would not assume that if I let go he would just start rolling. How am I supposed to know about gravity’s effect on something with wheels? And how could I possibly know that waiting for my dear friend at the bottom of the hill are hungry crocodiles? This sign has probably saved countless lives. OK fine, there MIGHT be people out there that are way too free with their wheelchair friends and might neglect to hang on tight. I’ll give you that. And that’s probably why they put the crocodiles at the bottom; added incentive to hang on tight. I bet it’s working. Good sign!
And speaking of crocodiles, this sign is a true help. How often do we think to ourselves, “Hey self! Let’s throw this old garbage into that giant lizards home! A trash can is way too convenient! If I’m lucky, maybe I can hit him in the face with it! That would be really funny to piss off a giant lizard for my entertainment pleasure.” But now that I see that sign, I’m thinking twice. Because why would I bother throwing something away if I just have to go and pick it up again. That defeats the whole purpose of being a lazy moron. Plus it would probably suck to get ripped to shreds by a crocodile.
Sometimes signs are meant to inform us and protect us, and other times they are just meant to express a passive aggressive frustration. Take this sign, for example. Personally, I think it’s genius. It really does say what many shop owner’s are thinking. But because I have this extremely odd aversion to being told what to do, I’m forced to do the opposite. This shop owner would have done better with me by posting a sign that says, “Please let your kids run all over the place and don’t worry about anything breaking!” Ah, who am I kidding, I would totally follow that sign. Truth be told, while I absolutely love that sign and what it represents, I would just not go into that store with my kids. I would feel such an overwhelming amount of pressure and I’d be paranoid that I was being watched like a hawk and in a constant state of parental judgment. I agree with this sign, but it frightens me.
Finally, in summation, to end this post, I would like to mention that reading signs is really important. They do help us out. And when it comes to your small ones who can’t read, it is your duty to read those signs for your children and follow them to keep your kids safe. I do my best, but sometimes a sign gets through the cracks. Like this one at the Irvine Pumpkin Festival Dealy. There was a sign posted on the back of this picture taking thing. It mentioned something about getting your head stuck, and NOT sticking your head through the hole. I didn’t see that sign until after…