I never thought I’d have to deal with separation anxiety. But Alistair is on his second full day of school at the Oak Knoll Kinderhaus Montessori, and there is plenty of separation anxiety going on. Not with Alistair, no, he’s fine. I’m talking about Gayle and me! Alistair walked right into class today. No tears, no look of “PLEASE DON’T GO!” And there we were, almost looking for some kind of validation that we were horrible parents; some kind of tantrum or upset behavior to show that he needs us and hates us for dropping him off and abandoning him. No such luck.
Interesting that during the summer months, I was counting the days to when I could get some relief to the constant, um, how can I put this nicely……let’s call it a natural, sometimes inappropriately energetic, tendencies of your standard household variety male child. I was looking forward to school! TAKE MY KIDS, PLEASE!
Well, they took them. And now I want them back.
Somebody else gets to have my kids for the day, and even though I absolutely enjoy being able to go to the grocery store all by myself (WOO-HOO!), the place feels too quiet. It feels like I am missing something. It feels like I bailed on my kids. Part of me really wants to do Legos, because that’s what Noble and I would be doing, but I have a feeling if Gayle asked me what I did today, and I said, “Oh, I made a lego bulldozer! Only took me 3 hours.” things would not go well for me for the remainder of that day. I would be folked.
It’s going to take some getting used to. But it is what it is. Every step of being a parent has all kinds of rips and tears at your heart strings. That’s what we signed up for, right? If you think I’m bad, you should see Gayle. She can’t bear the thought of Alistair being out of diapers because it means he isn’t a baby anymore. Girls are such weenies. Sure, I had to be carried out of the movie “The Notebook” because I couldn’t stop bawling, but diapers?! COME ON!