I have officially won the title of biggest idiot! What was I thinking?!? I know what I was thinking…”I want to see my son with a big smile on his face!”
Here’s the situation: We just got our Crate and Barrel tv stand and bookshelf delivered today. And in those gigantic, unassembled boxes, was a TON of large, inviting chunks of styrofoam. So at 6:30pm, before Gayle gets home from work, and as I’m cleaning up the boxes and styrofoam, I decide to give Noble the opportunity of a 3 year olds life! I invited him to kick a styrofoam piece in half! My thinking, and see if you can detect the idiot here, was that I would let him hit a piece of styrofoam once, or maybe twice, and then I’ll continue on cleaning up.
Idiot. Let me count the ways –
- What kind of moron does something exciting and physical that close to bed time. I may as well have given him a Red Bull.
- You can’t tell a kid they can only do the funnest thing in the world ONCE. Well, you can, but I dare YOU to do it. And call me after the complete meltdown so I can say, “I told you so”.
- Styrofoam is messy. It crumbles all over the place, and is so light that when you sweep even CLOSE to the vicinity of it, somehow a wind tunnel shoots it all around the room. It’s a pain in the ass to clean up.
- I’m a total idiot.
After I opened the door for extreme fun, and then instantly revoked it, Noble chose to do whatever he could to smash styrofoam. And, in the end, when I had to officially put an end to styrofoam madness, he took the piece he was holding, and, in a giant F.U. to dad, crumbled it into little Rice Krispies sized pains in my asses and let it fall all over the floor.
Do I blame him for acting the way he did? DAMN RIGHT! But I also call myself a monstrous idiot, and put one more hash mark on my ever growing “idiot tally”.