Mar 3

Styrofoam…my enemy.

I have officially won the title of biggest idiot!  What was I thinking?!? I know what I was thinking…”I want to see my son with a big smile on his face!”

Here’s the situation:  We just got our Crate and Barrel tv stand and bookshelf delivered today.  And in those gigantic, unassembled boxes, was a TON of large, inviting chunks of styrofoam.  So at 6:30pm, before Gayle gets home from work, and as I’m cleaning up the boxes and styrofoam, I decide to give Noble the opportunity of a 3 year olds life!  I invited him to kick a styrofoam piece in half!  My thinking, and see if you can detect the idiot here, was that I would let him hit a piece of styrofoam once, or maybe twice, and then I’ll continue on cleaning up.

Idiot.  Let me count the ways –

  1. What kind of moron does something exciting and physical that close to bed time.  I may as well have given him a Red Bull.
  2. You can’t tell a kid they can only do the funnest thing in the world ONCE.  Well, you can, but I dare YOU to do it.  And call me after the complete meltdown so I can say, “I told you so”.
  3. Styrofoam is messy.  It crumbles all over the place, and is so light that when you sweep even CLOSE to the vicinity of it, somehow a wind tunnel shoots it all around the room. It’s a pain in the ass to clean up.
  4. I’m a total idiot.

After I opened the door for extreme fun, and then instantly revoked it, Noble chose to do whatever he could to smash styrofoam.  And, in the end, when I had to officially put an end to styrofoam madness, he took the piece he was holding, and, in a giant F.U. to dad,  crumbled it into little Rice Krispies sized pains in my asses and let it fall all over the floor.

Do I blame him for acting the way he did?  DAMN RIGHT!  But I also call myself a monstrous idiot, and put one more hash mark on my ever growing “idiot tally”.

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