Apr 4

The Foot Toss Technique

The Foot Toss is an advanced move that parents with multiple kids utilize quite often.

In our house, the baby shares a room with Noble.  His room tends to look like somebody dropped a toy grenade right in the center.  Ideally, Noble picks up his room before bed, and the floor is free of random toys. (Or as I call them, ankle breakers, or “goddamn toys.”)  Ideally.  Ideally is also another word for rarely.

The Foot Toss Technique is used when the floor of the kids’ room is littered with toys.  Utilize when you are putting your baby down for bed.  As you pace around the room, rocking the baby, use your feet to kick those goddamn toys to any open area against a wall.  You are just looking to clear a path from the door to the crib.  Be as thorough as possible, as you will most likely be doing this technique in a dark room.  Matchbox cars, little army men, and small wooden blocks cause the most pain, so use a sweeping motion with your foot to check your work!  Congratulations, you used The Foot Toss!

Hopefully your baby goes down nicely, and in the middle of the night, when he’s made a poop in his diaper and you are scrambling to clean it up, you will be able to do so without breaking your ankle on a “goddamn toy.”

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