Nov 11

Why Do Kids Have To Be So Damn Honest?

by

I always give thanks for the quiet moments.

They call it like they see it.  And always to the extreme embarrassment of their parents.  Let’s take a walk down memory lane with my little Noble James.

There was the time we were at Sherwin Williams, picking out paint samples.  While at the register, I held Noble in my arms.  And with only 2-3 feet of distance between us, Noble extended his arm, seemingly inches from the cashier’s face, and points directly at an enormous, hairy mole on the man’s face. He then inquired –

“Daddy, what is that!”

Awkwardness ensued.

There was the time that we walked past the really nice asian man who waters his lawn and greets  us as we walk Noble to school most mornings.  This one particular day, Noble decided that while the man was saying hello, he would say, “Daddy, that man can’t open his eyes all the way!”

A hasty “good morning, have a nice day” coupled with a power walk escape ensued.

And who could forget the time that the two boys and I decided to get pictures taken at the mall.  We wanted a nice mother’s day treat for mom.  As we were waiting for the pictures to print, a manager explained to me in her oddly deep voice that it will just be a moment.  To which Noble proclaimed, as if to the entire store, “Daddy!  She looks like a woman, but talks like a man!”

Pretending that I didn’t hear it and changing the subject ensued.

It was especially fun at Panera not too long ago.  There was a man with what looked like lymphedema in his legs.  He was a large man, and his legs were heavily bandaged.  Well, after we had finished our lunch and were standing up to leave, Noble walks over to this man, who is sitting by himself, and he begins to point at this mans legs in excitement.  “Dad! Dad!  Look!  He has HUGE socks! Look! These are huge, right?!”

I must say that I’m thankful that he chose the bandages to single out and draw massive attention to.  That could have gone so much worse.

Kids are so damn honest.  I wonder at what age I’m supposed to impart social etiquette.  It seems a little advanced right now, because he would be expected to know when to talk about someone, when to not look, things to refrain from saying.  I think I’ll just settle for the embarrassment, for now.  At least it preserves his freedom to think and say whatever he needs to.  Just as long as it isn’t judgmental, I think I’ll survive it.  I’ll just make sure to steer clear of midgets and circus people for awhile.

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