May 8

My Yearly Apology


Mom with her boys

Dear mom,

First of all, Happy Mother’s Day!  Or, as I prefer to call it, Happy Yearly Apology For All My Wrongdoings As A Child.  I know I wasn’t a horrible kid, but I know there were some things back then that probably caused your blood pressure to rise beyond what’s comfortable. Now that I have kids, I see some things a little clearer, and I’d like to apologize my way out of karmic debt.

I would like to apologize for my entire teenage years, for thinking that you “just didn’t get it.”  I don’t know what it was about being a teenager, but I think the general sentiment is that all teenagers think their parents have no concept of what they are going through.  Almost as if all parents, when they were 12 years old, suddenly warped forward in time to their mid 20’s, rendering them incompetent in the struggles and angst of a teenager. So yeah, sorry for that. I am very much NOT looking forward to when my teenage boys pull that on me.

I would like to apologize for my lack of gratitude for all that you did for us.  It’s hard to have gratitude as a two year old.  Alistair still doesn’t thank me for wiping the poop off his butt before he gets a new diaper.  It’s hard to have gratitude as a five year old.  Noble still doesn’t thank me for taking him to school, for driving him from playdate to activity.  Noble still doesn’t thank me for being his personal butler, chef, and maid. So yeah, sorry for that.  A belated THANK YOU for all that wonderful momming you did. Which leads me to the following ‘thank you':

I would like to thank you for loving me unconditionally during those many many times when I was an ungrateful little snot.  It takes an incredibly thick skin to be a good parent, and I have had many occasions where I would have preferred to throw my child through a window than be understanding of my 5 year old’s plight. Especially when that includes being yelled at by a disrespecting little child.  So yeah, thank you for that.

You are a fantastic mother.  And your grandmothering skills are top notch, too.

I love you!

Your son.

PS – can I have $50 for a new nintendo game?  I promise I’ll never ask for another game as long as I live!

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